Nigohosian 5 - The Nuances of Goals

The Nuances of Goals

After revisiting my one blog about battling procrastination, I thought about the idea goals and why they may be hard to achieve. When thinking about that blog, I noticed that I never really stated what could go wrong with creating goals to assist with procrastination. After researching this information a little bit, I’ve found a multitude of reasons why goals can be so hard to fulfill. One of the main ideas with being successful with your goals is having accountability and motivation. Sometimes a compromise against your goals could simply be that they are worded negatively or the fact that goals people create feel more like chores than actual improvements. In order to create effective goals and become better at whatever you wish to, some minor changes with your goals should be made.

First of all, when creating goals, they should be smaller and slightly challenging to complete. You want to create them this way because you simply wouldn’t do them if it was too much to handle. The environment around you can also affect your goals, so it is important to make sure that there aren’t too many distractions to keep you off task. If you prevent distractions, you are well on your way to having more successful goals because the temptations to break them aren’t as prominent. One more thing with goals is that even the way that they are phrased can affect how effective they are. If things are phrased negatively, they can actually have the opposite effect on motivation. Instead, they should be phrased in a way so that the desired outcome is what is stated. Finally, the most important part of goals is to not minimize progress or be unhappy with your progress. This is because in order to grow, you must have a positive attitude as opposed to a negative attitude which will only prohibit progress. In general, goals should be created so you can improve, not berate yourself.

Auditions- Madson 5

Today was dance auditions for On the Town. And callbacks. Yesterday, was my audition. I felt confident, I did my best and was certain I would receive a callback. Only to find out, two hours later, that I did not do as well as I thought.

For those of you who do not know, I will explain the audition process. There are two days of initial auditions. This year, we had to prepare a one-minute excerpt from a song of our choice that best displays our talent, in the same genre as the show. Then, on the second day, the callback list comes out that night. A callback is when the director picks a smaller amount of people to re-audition with selected music and cold reads. This is done to see specific characters and the chemistry between actors when reading. On the third day, before callbacks, are the dance auditions. Colette, our choreographer, teaches us a small dance routine that we then perform in smaller groups. From there, she selects people to stay to learn a more advanced routine. Finally, the cast list comes out no later than a week after auditions are held.

The audition process is long and rigorous. We never know what our director is thinking. Most of the time, they already have the cast list in their heads, and then callbacks change it all. The moment the cast list comes out is always a confusing one. But in the end, no matter the role, everyone has fun doing what they love on stage.

Nathan Schmidt 5: Tradition

Tradition

Nathan Schmidt

With Christmas coming up, tradition has got to be a topic on everyone's mind.  Almost everyone has some sort of tradition.  Maybe you watch the same movie every year on Christmas.  Maybe you go to a Christmas party every year around this time.  My family has many traditions.  For a while, one of these traditions was that we would go to our grandparents' house in Wisconsin every year for Christmas.  It had become one of my favorite vacations of the year and it was always something I looked forward to.  But then, a few years ago, my grandparents wanted to sell the house.  The first thing my mind jumped to when I heard about this was "what about Christmas!?"  I felt like I needed to try to convince my grandparents that they needed to keep this house.  Because of Christmas?  Really?  I was not successful in convincing them to keep the house, so it went on the market and sold within the first day.  Being that I was fairly young at the time, I was so upset.  I thought that Christmas would forever be ruined.

We still go to Wisconsin every year, but now we go to my aunt and uncle's house instead.  But why do we hold traditions so close to us?  Here's another example.  Every year on Christmas Eve, we eat fondue for dinner.  Now there was one year that we didn't.  I was wildly upset, keep in mind, still, I was pretty young at the time.  Now, I do enjoy fondue, but was it worth throwing a fit over, definitely not.  And if it were any other time of the year, I would not have gotten as upset.  So why are these traditions so important?  My guess is that it is more a symbol than anything else.  I like eating fondue on Christmas Eve because it's what we've always done.  I like eating fondue on Christmas Eve because it brings back memories of previous years, memories of a joyous time.  I would like to hear other thoughts on this.  Do any of you have any traditions that you would feel devastated to lose?  If yes, why do you think that is?

Gianna 5: Change and Longing

      To miss something is to long for something that once was. Whether it’s to miss people, ages, dynamics, experiences, activities, sometimes change brings the feeling of yearning for the way things once were. 2019 has been a chaotic year, to say the least. I would say that this year for me involved and stood for a lot of change. Unfortunately for me, I don't really like change. I like set schedules and routines. I like to know exactly what is going on most of the time. This year, I had to break away from a lot of the things in my life I had grown accustomed to. I miss the way a lot of things were even a year ago, but I’ve been thinking about one pretty big difference a lot lately.

I started riding horses when I was six years old. I’ve always been passionate about animals, and being an equestrian was a defining part of my life and my identity. I never grew out of the “crazy horse girl” phase. During this year’s spring track season, I got injured. I was out for the first part of the season with Peroneal and Achilles tendonitis in both of my ankles. Even walking was painful. Horseback riding involves a lot of leg and ankle strength. I have had pain in my ankles for years, and it only gets worse with more use, which is how it developed to be such an issue this year. Once I could start working and running again, I wasn't able to ride while track season was going on. It was just too much pressure and strain on my ankles. I took a break from riding, and it was never really the same for me again.

I tried going back for a few lessons in July, but by that point, the competitive show season was already well in effect, and my ankles were causing me so much pain again. I didn't feel the same about it anymore. By the end of July, I was no longer riding. I haven't ridden since. Something that was such a defining part of my childhood and identity was no longer something I participated in. At first, I didn't really notice the difference in my life with or without riding. Recently, though, this change has been getting to me. With the new year coming up, I've been reflecting and writing in a personal journal about some of the really sensitive changes of the year. This, however, is a change that I feel like others could possibly relate to. It’s hard to cope with these emotional losses sometimes. Now I can say I truly miss it.

I’ve definitely picked up other activities along the way, though. I started rock climbing and bouldering at a gym a lot more seriously and often, I paint and cook a lot more now, and I still hold track very close to my identity. All of these things are very special to me, especially track, but they don't quite compare to that passion I had with riding. It was a combination of athleticism and bonding with an incredibly powerful animal. It really defined my childhood. Maybe soon or one day I’ll be able to pick it up again, because it is something I really, truly miss.

Caleb Johns 5- Santa Claus is a Real Person

Despite popular belief, Santa Claus is, in fact, a real person, well he was a real person. The legend begins as a man named Saint Nicholas of Myra who was born to two wealthy Catholic parents, Epiphanius and Johanna. It was his uncle, who was the Bishop of Myra that inspired Nicholas to involve himself with the clergy, and that is just what he did. After being ordained as a priest by his uncle, Saint Nicholas would devote himself to Catholic scripture and be an important figure in the defense of Catholics during the Great Persecution. For this, Nicholas paid the price of imprisonment and torture at the hands of the Roman Emperor Diocletian but was saved when Constantine, the first Holy Roman Emperor, defeated Diocletian in war and legalized Christianity when he believed it was the Christian god that earned him his victory. Nicholas returned to Myra to learn that his uncle had died and his successor was still to be named, a role that Nicholas would take. As the bishop of Myra, Nicholas used the fortune that his parents had left for him to donate to several groups of people, but especially children.

There are two stories however that immortalized Saint Nicholas and are responsible for why we celebrate him to this day. The first legend was the most popular and still recognized today. When a poor father became so in debt that he had to sell his three daughters into slavery, Saint Nicholas stepped in and paid the father the money so that the girls would not have to be slaves. The second goes that in an unfair trial in which the jury accepted bribes, a man was sentenced to execution, but Saint Nicholas intervened and just before the execution could take place, Saint Nicholas blocked the sword and admonished the jurors for their crimes. Other accounts of Saint Nicholas involve him resurrecting the dead, curing the sick, and giving away magical gifts.


From 1200 to 1500, Saint Nicholas had his own holiday celebrated on December 6th, but it was later removed by the Protestant Reformation because some saw his presence as a challenge to that of Jesus.

Nicholas’s physical appearance is inspired by the Norse god Odin, but the origin of where this design came from is unknown. The name Santa Claus comes from Saint Nicholas’s Dutch name Sinter Klaas. Klass was a common nickname for Nicholas. The modern appearance of Saint Nicholas as we know him today came from Clement Clark Moore in 1822 in his book “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” Moore wrote the book for his, coincidentally, three daughters. Popular political cartoonist Thomas Nast, whose cartoons were and are still highly influential and respected, gave Saint Nicholas his elves in their workshop and his wife, Mrs. Claus. Nast’s concept for Santa came from Moore’s book. The concept of Santa Claus having a list in which he keeps track of the children who are naughty or nice comes from the song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” written by John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie, which became an instant hit. Why Santa lives in the North Pole is not quite understood but a factor could be that he was a very popular figure in the Scandinavian region.

The next time someone tries to tell you that Santa is not real, now you’ll know they are very wrong. And when you tell your little brother or sister that Santa is a real person, you’ll know that you are not actually lying.

For further information on Santa Claus.

Alora Kutzler 5 "Wawa Stress"

Working a part time job, going to school, and finding time for friends and family all seems extremely stressful right now. Especially around the holidays when the hours and the money are so good but i seem to be struggling to keep up with my schoolwork and not having enough time with my friends and family. Working 25-35 hours a week all while going to school and having responsibilities is quite impossible sometimes.

 After just working a 30 hour work week I took a step back and wondered if all this stress is worth it in high school. If me working so much was hindering my ability to enjoy my time and relax. And I came to the conclusion that it was. So I was deciding on either cutting down my availability at work and or making a single day of the week let's say a Friday or Saturday an “Alora Day” where I get to relax and do whatever I want because I earned it.


After countless hours of making hoagies a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. When everything seems stressful take a step back, evaluate, and try to find a way to calm down. And that's exactly what I did. I went into work tonight and cut down my hours to 20 and im going to focus on my studies and some much needed relaxation this holiday break as well as after. Especially after i just got told tonight that Wawas system was breached and for the past 9 months peoples personal credit and debit card information has just been circling around. This could really hurt bushiness so well see what is to come.

Megan - Week 5 - Wisdom in the Weeds

When I was five, I loved dandelions just as much as I loved Barbies, and that’s saying a lot.

Whenever I would find one, I would beg my mom to put it in a vase, so it could become our centerpiece. The gardener in her would always let out a sigh, explain how dandelions are weeds, not flowers, and then the mother in her would smile and put it in a vase anyway.

I could never understand why it mattered that they were weeds. They were beautiful with fragile golden petals and that was all that I cared about.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines a weed as “a plant that is not valued where it is growing and is usually of vigorous growth.” Dandelions grow quickly, having roots that can extend up to 10 feet under the ground. When they’re pulled up, unless the deepest roots are removed, the resilient plant will grow back even stronger than before. Once its time has come, the dandelion will turn into a white wisp. Carried by the wish of a wondering child or the soaring wind, the seeds will quickly disperse, going on to create new life in golden flowers.

Maybe my innocent zeal for dandelions as a child was foolish. But, maybe it was wise. The more I think about dandelions, the more I want to be like one.

You see, I want to be deeply rooted in truth and compassion. I want to be resilient, standing strong when I face opposition.

To be unwanted and grow because of it, to be delicate but strong all in one breath, to be chopped down only to become more and more determined, again and again, growing deeper each time...

And finally, when it’s my time, I hope that my legacy inspires, allowing others to wish and dream for themselves.

Alicia Zhang 5: My Hermit Crab

   When people ask me if I have any pets, I respond with a definitive no. In the past tense, however, the question would have a different answer. I used to take care of a lot of fish when I was a kid, and once, just once, I owned a hermit crab. It was the kind commonly found at boardwalk shops nestled beside the beach, and had I known more about hermit crabs, I wouldn't have even thought about getting it. But kid me always judged based on the exterior, and the hermit crab's gauzy red shell with Hawaiian flowers painted on was more than enough. Did you know that hermit crabs change shells every four to eight weeks? It's probably a good thing that I usually stuck to raising fish, since I am horrible at long term planning.

   In the end, I didn't even get to own my hermit crab long enough to find that fact out. Within a day upon returning home from our beachside trip, my sister and I had an argument while the hermit crab was outside its cage, and we lost it. After a few days of searching, and a lot of crying, I gave up the thought of ever seeing my hermit crab ever again, and that was that. Fast forward a few months later, and one early morning, I decided to get out of bed and go downstairs to drink some milk. Going down the steps, and still half-asleep, I suddenly noticed that right in front of my eyes there was the hermit crab skittering on the floor! That was a surprise, and it would turn out to be an unfortunate one.

   Of course, I was overjoyed to see my pet hermit crab again. It had lost its shell, and some of its legs, but it was alive at the very least somehow. The next day, I brought it with me to the pet shop, where I would hopefully get some food for it. It died by the time we arrived, probably from the blistering heat felt even in the well-insulated car. And I have never had another pet from then until now. I don't even remember what name I gave to the hermit crab, but this whole experience is weirdly clear compared to my other, arguably more important, childhood memories. Maybe because it was so awful, but who knows? I just hope the hermit crab is enjoying a better afterlife than the life it had under my watch.

Muskan Week 5 - Winter Break

Winter break starts right after school tomorrow, and I’m so excited. My plans for the break are very relaxed, which is the complete opposite of my last few months. These past few weeks have been rough for me, so having this break is well needed.

My break isn’t one hundred percent free time, but I have at least half of each day free, which allows me to have some time to relax and do some stress-relieving activities. There’s so much I’ve missed out on, hobby and family-wise, that I’m ready to catch up on. With all free time, I can end the new year on a happy note. 

This past year, I’ve been running around doing activity to activity and a lot has happened in my family that has hurt us. The start of the New Year brings a new start and new opportunities. I’m sure I’m not the only one that is happy to have this new start. Some of my New Year’s resolutions for this coming year are to manage my time better and allow myself to have more breaks throughout a week.

Even though the New Year stands for new beginnings and happy time of year, I do get a bit sad that the year is ending. I had a lot of good times this year and it’s a little hard to watch them pass. I know they’ll still be in my memories, but it still hits me a little hard when it gets this close to the end of the year. This year will be especially hard since it’s also the end of the decade. It feels like the time we spent in this decade will just be gone when that clock strikes 12.

MaryJo 5: Soulmates

As I took some time to read my non-fiction book, Invisible Influence by Jonah Berger, I came across something he said that forced me to stop and think about it for myself for a while. His book aims to describe the unconscious factors that guide us to make certain decisions. Among these decisions is finding an ideal spouse. Everybody wants to find someone special that they can happily spend the rest of their life with. We find comfort in believing that somebody out there is perfectly crafted for us, knowing exactly what to say when we are upset and perfectly harmonizing with all of our own characteristics. The idea of having a soulmate is so appealing to us and seems strangely realistic, especially when countless married couples claim they can’t imagine themselves being with anybody else.

However, Berger points out many flaws with this mindset. Even when you cut out people that aren’t your ideal type, aren’t in an appropriate age range, or don’t share vital moral or political values, this still leaves billions of people around the world that could possibly be a successful match for you. Because people spend the majority of their lives either at work or school, they become the places most people end up meeting their spouse, but what are the chances that out of the billions of people you haven’t met yet, your soulmate luckily happens to work in the same department as you?

Realistically, married couples could be equally happy being married to somebody else. With the pressure young adults have to get married by a certain point of their life and longing for intimacy and commitment, it makes sense that most of us settle for anyone we are generally attracted to and see frequently. For some, beggars can’t be choosers, and whatever interest we receive is what we take. There are obviously mistakes in this process, and I think about my parents who were only together for a short time. My mom remarried, and although there are many times she argues with my step dad, they seem generally happy together. Even still, it’s hard to say she wouldn’t be happier married to someone else. Although it’s really impossible for all of us to find the one person that we would ideally be happiest with, many relationships are still healthy and provide both partners with lifelong intimacy and love.

Gabe 5: The Fourth Dimension

Last week, someone mentioned how there was an oddly large number of posts about time. This week, I’ve decided to add to that number, because I think it’s a fascinating topic.

Recently, there’s been a big influx in so-called “4D” movies. The first two dimensions are the length and height of the screen. The third is the depth that is created when things appear to pop out of the screen, like with a normal 3D movie. The people who make these movies have defined the fourth dimension as any physical sensation that isn’t happening on the screen, such as spraying water on the audience, or vibrating their chairs, or filling the theatre with an artificial odor.

So is that what the fourth dimension is?  Just a big catch all for any sensation that isn’t length, height, or depth? Well, no it’s not. You can move through the first three dimensions. You can walk forwards and backwards and left and right and jump up and down. These are directions that make up the space we exist in, not sensations like the feeling of water on your face or the smell of cinnamon. You move through the dimension of height by jumping up and down. You can’t jump through a sensation.

Obviously, the 4D branding is just a branding. So what is the actual fourth dimension then? According to scientists, it’s time. We can’t see time in the way we see length or height or depth, but we still experience it, and we can still measure it. The difference between time and the other three dimensions is movement through it. We can move in any direction through the first three dimensions without much difficulty just by walking around. But we can only move through time in one direction. You can’t stop moving through time. You can’t move backwards through time. You’re stuck moving forwards.

Most scientists now believe that time travel to the past is impossible. But there’s still so much we don’t know about the universe. I like to think that the only thing that separates time from the other three dimensions is how little we understand about it. I can move through depth by walking in a straight line. Who’s to say that moving through time is any different?

Hayden Berner 5 "Cookies Oh My"

Cookies. They are yummy, warm, their scent wafts through the air gracefully, and they are so so so sweet, but I only get the savor them a couple times a year. One of those scarce times being the break coming up in a few days…Christmas.

Because I am such an avid sports player I do not get many opportunities to eat whatever I please. One of the big no no’s in my diet are sweets (aka cookies for the sake of this blog). Which is a real shame seeing as they are just so dang good. I make one mean batch of chocolate crinkle cookies! The best part about them is that the instructions are super simple. These are probably what I am looking forward to eating most over Christmas break.

                                                        

Christmas break is one of the few times of the year I just get to let loose and eat whatever I want. It is the simple things in life that I truly enjoy, so waking up early in the morning, getting all messy with flour and sugar, and eating that one cookie that is always too hot because you just can not wait for the first batch to cool is always something I look can not wait to do.

Unfortunately, I only have a certain amount of time to enjoy before I go back to practices, strict diets and dreadful school work, hopefully I will be able to do everything that is on my Christmas break bucket-list for the year of 2019.

Caleb Johns 4:To many streaming services

With Apple TV Plus and Disney Plus being the most recent additions to the subscription streaming service community, we have to start asking ourselves: “when is enough, enough?”

It's fair to say that everyone wants to be in the loop when it comes to the most popular shows at the time, so you can imagine my frustration when there are a bunch of popular shows that are all on different streaming platforms. And to get caught up on all of these shows, you’ll have to subscribe to numerous streaming platforms that would cost a lot in a month.


Additionally, the growth of these streaming services has created a problem of just too much entertainment. There is so much to catch up on across all of these different streaming platforms that I’ve just given up. There was a time that I wanted to watch all of Game of Thrones, but after it died from the public conversation, I gave up halfway through season two. Now the show people are talking a lot about is the Mandalorian which I haven’t even started yet.

Finally, and this is an important reason for me when I pay the monthly fee for the streaming service, often I’m doing it for only one show. I’m paying all of this money for an amount of content that probably isn’t worth the money I’m spending. For example, when Stranger Things came out last summer, I got Netflix that month for $8.99. That was the only show on Netflix that I watched. Would I have spent $8.99 on that season of Stranger Things? Absolutely not.

I wish I could pay a normal fee that would be the same as having one streaming service a month but I would be able to have all of the shows that I would want to watch.

So a question to comment on: are there too many streaming services out there?

Hayden Berner 4 "Traveling and You"

Traveling is an experience that I hope to continue throughout my life. It is not for everyone, but for me, it is a fulfilling and an enlightening activity that I love to do. I am starting to make a list of places I would like to visit.

Just a little tangent from this blog, I will be able to cross off Iceland from my list this coming summer. I will be going with Mrs. Rakos on the senior class trip and I am super excited not only because it is a beautiful place, but because that was the last place my grandmother visited before she passed away, so in a way it will be sharing a part of her life through my eyes.

                                                 

Anyway, I think traveling is something that is very helpful when it comes to my personal health. I also find it really fun to budget for these trips and I enjoy planning them.

Now, do not tell my boyfriend, but I have started saving for a trip for us to take to South Dakota. I really want to travel to all 50 states, so I get to see South Dakota and my boyfriend gets to go on his dream hunting trip. I am planning to have saved up enough by the time he graduates college, because I am hoping to have this trip be a graduation present.

I think the ability to witness different lifestyles, different cultures, and gorgeous landscapes is something that nobody can teach in a classroom. I love traveling so much so that I am hoping to get a job that requires some traveling or at least good vacation benefits.

In summary, I encourage everyone to really enjoy the trips they take because it is so different than everyday life and it creates everlasting memories! So get your suitcase and your bathing suit (Or winter coat) and travel!

Nathan Schmidt 4: Finally Driving

Finally Driving

Nathan Schmidt

Woot! Woot!  After a period of time that lasted much longer than it needed to, I finally got my driver's license.  I could have gotten my permit on April 4th, my birthday.  I decided to wait though, not because I didn't want my permit, but more because I had not looked over the quiz information enough to have passed the test.  I ended up getting my permit a month later, and my driver's test was set up for November 17th.  I had five lessons with Hickory Driving School (previously Moyer Driving School), and I had to complete 30 hours of online driver's education.  The driving lessons themselves were never a problem, it was the stupid 30 hours of online training that really started to push my buttons.  Now I am certainly not saying that the 30 hours of online training was unnecessary.  I am definitely a better driver because of it, but it is the way that the program is set up that is the issue.  This is how it works: you open up the program and are shown that you have to complete a number of sections (I believe it is somewhere around 15), no problem, right?  Well, that itself is fine, but then I realized that each section has a minimum amount of time required to move on to the next section, a minimum time that is drastically longer than what is necessary.  So, in a section that takes 20 minutes to read, I had to remain on that page for an hour and 20 minutes before I could move on to the next section.  This itself was already frustrating to me, but I do have to take some of the blame.

Yeah, yeah, I know I had all summer to do the online driver's education.  My parents have pointed that out too many times to count.  I chose to procrastinate, it's not the first time.  Anyways, you can imagine my frustration when I learned that these 30 hours of driver's ed is not actually required like I had been told.  It is only required if the test is taken through Hickory Driving School, which was information I had never been told before.  None-the-less, I finished the driver's ed, took the test, passed, and got my license.  I now get to experience all the benefits that come with getting a driver's license.  As for my final thoughts, I am definitely glad that I completed the 30 hours of driver's ed and I think it is beneficial to others who are getting their license.  While the program itself seems unnecessarily extensive, the process itself has helped me as a driver in ways that will keep me safe in the future.

Nigohosian 4, The Concept of Time

The Concept of Time

After looking at some blog posts about time over the weeks, there has been one question lingering in the back of my mind. I always wondered, why does time seem to go by so fast? After doing some research, I’ve found an answer and its surprising at how simple the concept really is. Santosh Kesari, MD, Ph.D., neurologist, neuro-oncologist, neuroscientist and chair of the Department of Translational Neurosciences and Neurotherapeutics at the John Wayne Cancer Institute, explains that it is our memories that influence the perception of time. Its also worth noting that this perception is based on retrospective perception, which is remembered time instead of real-time.

For example, time seems to go by slowly when we were younger, but when we look back on those years, they seem to have been a blur. This is because we largely gauge retrospective time by memorable events, and we tend to have fewer of them as time goes on. During our childhood, we absorb everything going on around us and take them in as new experiences, but as we get older, we have increasingly less new experiences. Due to these fewer experiences, time seems to go by much faster as our mind is not creating as many new experiences. Also, more routine activities do not get recorded as memories, so it is better to be more spontaneous with your decisions if you want to make something seem like it lasted longer. For example, if you want to remember a vacation or long weekend better, do a wider variety of activities to make it seem longer when you look back on those days.

Another reason why time may seem shorter when you look back on it is how much time you have spent so far in your life. The more time you spend in your life, the smaller the percentage of certain things seem, so it may also be based on perspective. Someone who has lived for 10 years definitely has less to remember than someone who has lived for 20 or 30 years. In general, time is something precious that can never be taken back, so make the best of it when you can.

Trust- Madson 4

Trust is a funny thing. It is something that so loosely tossed around. It can be hard to earn, but very easy to break. Some people are so damaged from it that they find it hard to trust others. To me, trust comes easy. I meet someone once, I most likely trust them. People have always said that I see the good in people, and allow it to overshadow the bad. I have learned the hard way that this is true, and is not always the best thing for me.

I give people the benefit of the doubt. Always. I allow them to prove themselves. In most cases, this leaves me hurt. I hear warnings from my friends, “Katie are you sure?” or “Katie, don’t get involved, you will only get hurt.” Do I ever listen? Not once. Have I gotten hurt? Yes, of course. But it always left me feeling stronger, after a while.

I know I sound like I am talking about relationships, boys in particular. But I am not. Yes, some of this does stem from past relationships, however, a big portion comes from friends. I always put them first, hardly ever stopping to think about me. I have been in many toxic relationships because of that. My confirmation mentor, who is someone I value and trust most in the world, once told me, “You’re a do-gooder Katie. You’re the kindest young lady I know. You always want to help others, and always put them first. And that is what hurts you the most sometimes when they break that trust you give them.”

I trust people down to my very core. I believe there is good in everyone. Yes, this can be my downfall, but it also is a part of who I am. It has led me to learn many life lessons. My parents often say I have gone through too much for someone my age, but it has only led me to be stronger.

MaryJo 4: Zodiac Signs

Around 2 months ago, my astronomy class began our constellation unit. After what seemed like too many days full of lectures about celestial equators, equinoxes, Galileo, and everything I, for some reason, didn’t think I would have to sit through in a class about astronomy, we finally got to the part where we would get to look at fun shapes made from stars. As soon as the 12 zodiac constellations were mentioned, our class naturally erupted into a conversation about our horoscopes. From this innocent conversation, I had to receive some of the most crushing news and feelings of betrayal I have felt in my life. My teacher had to break it to us that, since 2016, there was a discovery of a 13th zodiac sign falling under the dates of November 29th to December 17th: Ophiuchus. This meant that all the other signs needed to adjust to this interval and fall under different time frames. This meant that my birthday, July 13th, now falls under the season of Gemini. This meant that all the horoscope personality posts, advice about my future, and compatibility charts I read never meant anything after all. As expected from the first stage of denial, I decided to pretend I was never aware of this news, mostly for the sake of all the cancer horoscope jewelry I’ve bought.

I’m not sure how long each stage of grief is supposed to take, but I still haven’t made any progress past the first. I’m not any kind of expert astrologist, but I am interested enough to have a few daily horoscope apps downloaded on my phone. It’s really interesting for me to think about the idea that our personalities and pathways in life are being influenced by the night sky. I know that a lot of people have criticisms about astrology and are very adamant about how illogical and ridiculous it is, and I’m not denying that it is.

I obviously don’t expect all of my entire life decisions to be dependent on what my horoscope suggests I should do with my life, and I wouldn’t call things off with my future soulmate after finding out that he’s an Aries (although I would really prefer if he isn’t). Despite all this, it’s the comfort I find in thinking that something written in the stars decided that I am the way that I am and has a plan set out for me that I am destined to follow that tempts me to check my horoscope whenever I feel lost in the world. Believing in things like astrology, aliens, and ESP are little ways that make life a little more interesting and bring mystery into a world that seems too fixed and defined. Making myself believe that there’s something more behind what my life gives me makes me want to accept it, understand it more, and figure it out.

Alicia Zhang 4- The Feeling of Happiness

   

   I am a violinist, and yesterday I played at the Matrix Concert. When all was said and done, congratulations paid and goodbyes given, I sat back with a melting candy cane in my mouth wondering whether this was happiness. Happiness is a sweet feeling, the kind that makes you warm down to the tips of your toes, and yet, unlike other feelings such as anger or sadness, it is so quick to fade away. When I came back home and was presented with a unfinished lab and a Calculus quiz to study, that sweet moment vanished into thin air like it never was. Nobody can be happy forever, no matter how many good things happen to them. I can not help but wonder if this feeling I have is truly happiness, because when I look around, I realize that maybe I am just making a fool of myself.

  When I look around, I see strangers and acquaintances who will likely forget me in time. They're smiling and laughing, and I am smiling too, but sometimes it is a lie. It is a lie, and my anxieties pile up in my head; I just know that they are talking behind my back--but I don't, and that makes it all the more worse. Then I take a step back and pretend that I never thought such thoughts, because they are unhealthy, and it is me in the wrong for not going with the flow. It still doesn't change the fact that I feel like my moments of happiness are getting shorter and shorter, and life feels less like something to enjoy and more like an arranged marriage. I want to be happy, I really do. But these days, it is served up with a side of worry and stress. 

   I do not feel like I am where I would like to be in life, and that feeling is not going to go away anytime in the near future. Sometimes, I call myself a failure, and I really do believe myself to be one at my lowest. Am I a failure? I do not know, but I am certainly not a success by my standards. My parents remind my all the time that success is happiness, and that if I get a stable, well-paying job, preferably in the medical field, everything will come together. My sister says that I should just do what I want to do, and happiness will naturally follow. Will it really though? It is frustration, what I am feeling right now as I type, and that feeling of happiness seems like a distant dream. 

 

   

Gianna 4: Chill Out

       “Gia, you really just need to calm down,” my mom called to me as I panicked, getting ready for school at 7:10 am after my alarm didn’t go off. I’ve heard this phrase from my mom countless times, but the words “chill out” and “calm down” have been directed at me in abundance this week. This has just not been my week, and I need to chill out.

        My mom couldn't be more right in this case. Trying to “chill out” and relax can be really difficult though. I find it very rarely really happens for me, so I try to savor the few and far moments when I actually feel calm. Thanksgiving break was one of those rare moments for me. I spent the majority of my break painting and cooking, two things I love to do for pleasure. I’m not a very good artist, but I do love to be creative and use color. I used to find painting as very stressful. The perfectionist in me wants every single thing I do to be at the highest of standards the first time I do it. Obviously, I can't paint like Van Gogh, yet it’s still maddening to me when a painting doesn't come out like a pro’s. Over Thanksgiving break though, I finally chilled out. I made five different paintings, and I actually fully enjoyed it and found peace in creating them (for the most part). Something clicked in my mind, allowing me to let go of any standards and to just paint for fun. It was one of the most relaxing breaks of my life.
       Today, I really need to chill out. I decided that I needed to set some time aside today to relax and be creative, something I haven't even thought about since break. I bought a few tiny canvases on my way home from school, and I started painting once I got home. At first, I could see myself falling into the same pattern of getting flustered over every little detail. How can I get so frustrated with something that was supposed to help me relax? I know that I am fully capable of letting go and enjoying myself, but it’s just so hard. Things would be so much easier if I could flip a switch to turn off the constant feelings of worry and doubt looming in my mind. But alas, I can't, so I’ll just have to keep trying for now.

I think that now it might be time for me to chill out. I need to remember that it’s okay to take a break sometimes. That’s something that I think a lot of high schoolers need to be reminded of. It may feel like you need to be constantly grinding and working, but sometimes you just need to chill out and relax (easier said than done, though).