“Meggggan, pwease play Go Fish with us,” Olivia whines.
“While I wish I could, I have to work on this paper. I bet Madison will if you ask nicely,” I reply, knowing full and well that Madison will not.
“But we forget how to play, and we neeeed you. Pleaseee,” Juliet joins in.
I sigh, knowing I’ll be up late working on this paper but also knowing that my little cousins won’t be little forever.
“Okay, I’ll play. Just give me five more minutes, and you can’t get mad if I win,” I tease.
So I found myself playing Go Fish, and I found myself asking the same question that I ask every time that I play a game with my younger cousins: should I let them win?
It’s a real dilemma. On one hand, we all know people who were allowed to win every single game of Candy Land that they ever played as a kid. They often think that they’re the best thing that ever happened to the world, and they’re also super sore losers. When they lose a game of badminton in gym class, they’re ready to snap their racquets in half.
At the same time, kids model behavior. If they can see me lose and not cry or throw a fit over it, I believe that can be valuable too. Monkey see, monkey do. Plus, losing over and over again is no fun, and I don’t want to discourage them from playing games.
So, I decided to let them win once, and then next time, I won. I don’t know if that was the right choice or not, but when I’m not sure, I usually err on the side of balance.
Do you think that we should let kids win every game? Why or why not?
“While I wish I could, I have to work on this paper. I bet Madison will if you ask nicely,” I reply, knowing full and well that Madison will not.
“But we forget how to play, and we neeeed you. Pleaseee,” Juliet joins in.
I sigh, knowing I’ll be up late working on this paper but also knowing that my little cousins won’t be little forever.
“Okay, I’ll play. Just give me five more minutes, and you can’t get mad if I win,” I tease.
So I found myself playing Go Fish, and I found myself asking the same question that I ask every time that I play a game with my younger cousins: should I let them win?
It’s a real dilemma. On one hand, we all know people who were allowed to win every single game of Candy Land that they ever played as a kid. They often think that they’re the best thing that ever happened to the world, and they’re also super sore losers. When they lose a game of badminton in gym class, they’re ready to snap their racquets in half.
At the same time, kids model behavior. If they can see me lose and not cry or throw a fit over it, I believe that can be valuable too. Monkey see, monkey do. Plus, losing over and over again is no fun, and I don’t want to discourage them from playing games.
So, I decided to let them win once, and then next time, I won. I don’t know if that was the right choice or not, but when I’m not sure, I usually err on the side of balance.
Do you think that we should let kids win every game? Why or why not?
I don't think we should let kids win every game, but it's good to at least allow them a victory every once in a while. Otherwise, they might give up on trying, and be discouraged from playing like you said. It's best to keep a balance, as either extreme could end up with some very unhappy kids who know they're being played rather than the game itself. Kids are immature in general, but they certainly aren't as dumb as some think them to be.
ReplyDeleteKids should most definitely not win every game. I grew up with 3 older siblings and I can sum up my childhood with saying that I never won. I never got any mercy from my siblings, in fact I can only recall 3 times when my siblings actually let me win. Little did I know this was actually a very very good thing for me because yes it was not fun to lose every time, but it made me work harder for my victories. Instead of having everything handed to me, I had to work for every win. I do think it's a bit mean to do it all the time, but making them work for their wins is a very good and healthy thing to do.
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